The puppy princess and the pea(rson)

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful puppy princess called Sasha, and she led a very difficult life.

Every morning her human would make her get up early and go for a long walk along the beach, and when they got back she would be forced to play chasing around the house games and then suffer through cuddles.

Her human would cruelly abandon her for the day, leaving her with only a choice of several couches, a bed, and a rug with a view of the back yard to sleep on. In the evening her human would return, and there would be another walk, then dinner followed by awful relaxing on the couch. Sometimes the puppy princess would be forced to sleep on the second couch under the heating vent, where it would all be warm and schnoozily.

Worst of all, at bed time the princess would have to wait patiently, sleeping on the couch, for her human to come and pick her up and carry her to the bed. Her human would put her on the end of the bed, and then the puppy princess would have to wait even longer for her human to get into bed and settle herself before the puppy princess could finally slumber away the travails of the day.

One freezing cold wintry spring night, Princess Sasha realised she could take no more of this torture and decided to take control of the situation.

First of all, she walked up to the head of the bed, and started digging beside the human's pillow. Then she walked over the pillow (and her human's head) to the other side, and did a bit of digging there. The puppy princess walked over the pillow again, and stood over the human's head, so the human could tickle her tummy from underneath. She did the digging thing on both sides again, and then stood over her human's head again, in the approved tummy-tickles-from-below position. And she stayed there. After a while her human moved her head off the pillow.

The puppy princess sat on the pillow for a minute, and then she lay down on it with her bottom on her human's shoulder. Her human was a bit cold, so she pulled the blanket over the puppy princess's bottom. Then Princess Sasha slid a bit further down, and her human put a bit more blanket over her.

Finally, the puppy princess had control of the bed! She had her head on the good pillow, and she was covered in blankets, and her human had to sleep on the edge of the bed with her head on the hugging pillow. And they slept like that all night.

The puppy princess's human thought the puppy princess would go back to the foot of the bed after a while, because the puppy princess had never liked being covered in blankets before, but she never did!

This is *my* bed now human - go find somewhere else to sleep!