Just say no!

Sorry I haven't blogged for a while... I've been otherwise occupooed.

It all started the other week, when I was feeling a bit sickie in my tummy, and kept waking my human up at 3am to go for a walk. My human and I decided to wait a day or two to see if my tummy would feel better, but then one day when she was at work I felt very sickie, and was sickie and pooey all over the carpet and on the bed and on the couch. I decided not to be sickie in the kitchen or the bathroom or on the balcony, because I know my human doesn't like mopping.

So then we went to the vet. I love my vet. It's where I went to puppy school, and it's one of my favourite places. I always rush around the counter to say hello to the nurse, and she always makes a big fuss of me. And also they have a display case of kittens who always come to their window to say hello to me, and I wag my tail and wish they would come out to play.

The vet said I should stop eating for 24hrs. At least, that's what my human says he said. I think he said my human shouldn't eat for 24hrs, because (and this is just the truth, nothing more), she's got a bit porky lately, and he probably thought she could lose a little weight. Anyway, so then my human didn't give me any food for a whole day! And then I felt better, so then she gave me some yummy bland chicken risotto that she makes especially for me when I'm feeling sickie. I love yummy bland chicken risotto!

But then a few days later I felt even more sickie than before, and because it was a very Special Day when lots of human places are closed, we went to the Hospupital. And the vet there said I had a thing called haemorrhagic gastroenteritis, and I ended up staying at the hospupital the whole night and they gave me IV fluids and things. And then the next day I went back to my vet and kept having IV things. And then I went home with my human, and I gave her special kisses.

And I got to eat yummy bland chicken risotto, which is just the best thing in the universe! But not enough, not enough! My human said she wanted to treat my tummy carefully, so I was only getting half portions. Not fair!

Then I refused to poo for two whole days, and my human got really worried, because she said I'd eaten a volume of food that was the same size as my head, and maybe I was going to explode! Haha! I was teasing her! I did poo eventually, and she was so excited she carefully collected it in a special bag like it was some kind of treasure. Humans are weird. Well, there's lots more poo where that came from, human - I'm always happy to help out!

The problem is, now my human keeps trying to slip kibble into my yummy bland chicken risotto. Of course, I eat around it and then I play with it, but I can see what's coming up - my human thinks she's going start making me eat kibble again. Ha! I'm going to refuse. I like my yummy bland chicken risotto, and I'm not ready to give it up yet!

So here's my message to all those puppies out there who've been sickie enough to make their humans cook them yummy bland chicken risotto - Just Say No!

Oh, in case you're wondering, now that I'm pooing properly again, I've decided to develop a strange, sorey and pus-y infected foot. The vet doesn't know what it is, and the antibiotics I'm still taking for my now-not-very-sickie tummy are masking it.

Heh, heh... my human is a bit worried, because next weekend we embarking on our Grand Adventure, driving to Queensland to visit my Grand(hu)ma and my cousins, her two Miniature Schnauzers. Of course, I'm only finding new ways to get sickie to keep my human on her toes, and I intend to be perfectly healthy for the trip - I'm really just amusing myself. Though the joke is backfiring on me a little, I have all these shaved bits on my legs and my sorey foot, I hope my cousins don't laugh at me.

Oh, of course they won't - I'm gorgeous! And not at all sickie. Not really.

Just Say No To Kibble!

Pawscript
This morning the vet pulled a giant seed out of my foot. I was a little disappointed, because I had been saving it for later, and they are very difficult to find at this time of year. But my foot feels much better now, plus I have to have more tablets every day, which means extra pieces of chicken (and hopefully cheese) for my human to hide them in!