I'm still he-re!

Hello everyone!

I finally got my lazy human off the computer! And it's not even as if we don't have a computer each now - she upgraded to a new one a few weeks ago, but she hasn't finished sorting out all the photos yet, and it was taking too long, so she just... stopped doing it! And I've got all these great photos of the Lost Dogs Home Open Day that she hasn't converted for me, and that was ages ago!

So I just wanted everyone to know that I'm still here, just suffering from Lazy Human Syndrome. All she does is walk me two or three times a day, and feed me and cuddle me and play with me. And then she disappears for hours on end, as if she had something better to do than stay with me and attend to my needs!

I have encouraged her to do some training with me, and even though we're not practising for Honey's Dancing with the Doggy Stars competition, I have taught her to give me the command to run around her. But I will only run in one direction - widdershins, which means anti-clockwise. My human says that means I am a witch.

Except that widdershins is only anti-clockwise in the northern hemisphere, and we're in the southern hemisphere so widdershins is actually clockwise here. Which means I'm really running deosil which is not witchy at all.

And none of that explains why I won't run around her clockwise.

I don't have any recent pictures of myself (that's one of the symptoms of Lazy Human Syndrome), so I'm going to leave you with the picture of me that my human has on the fridge...

My favourite hobby

Hi everyone

Today I want to tell you about my favourite hobby - collecting pats. I have a wonderful collection of pats, and I'm very good at acquiring them, too!

For example, here are all the pats I collected just today!

And a very good morning to you, too!

(It's never too early for a good pat.)

Hello!

Heehee! That tickles!

A bit more to the left, please!

Hello - I know my Schnauzer friend Spinner doesn't mind if you pat me!

Just a bit more!

Ah, yes, just right!

Sure I'll shake paws, just keep patting!

Oooh, is there patting happening over there?

Er, you're patting me, not the Italian Greyhound behind you!

What do you mean, no more pats?

Hmmm... is Spinner getting pats over there?

I think he is, but now I'm getting a chin scratch.

(Look at my friend Penny The Schnauzer Puppy making faces at the camera!)

Oh, go on, you know you want to!

(Penny is still making faces!)

Look Penny, this is how you get pats.

That's right Penny, but you need to get in a little closer, like this.

Ah, yes. You smell nice, too.

I like chest tickles.

Hey, stop hogging the picture, human. I'm leaving...

Pats, please!

Er, excuse me! Down here!

Look how cute I am! You want to pat me!

I think the pats are starting to dry up - even Spinner's having to search them out.

Oi, human! Pat me!

My human wants me to mention that she does actually tell me off for jumping up, but firstly, I don't really jump, I just kind of stand up on my back legs with my cutest look, then extend my paw in gentle benediction. And secondly, all the humans say "Oh, I don't mind, she's sooooo cute, come on, up-up!" Naturally, I prefer to listen to them - it's all about pleasing my audience, after all - and I get more pats that way!

The Way of the Puppy: Lesson 1

Ah, young Humawan, you have much to learn about The Way of the Puppy, and I am here to teach you. There are many lessons for you to learn, and here is the first one...

When you go to sleep at night in the middle of the bed, your puppy having carefully prepared her spot in a corner at the foot...

... and yet you wake balanced precariously on the edge of the bed with only a small corner of the blanket to keep you warm...

... with the aforementioned puppy enjoying the luxury of the middle of the bed and all of the blanket...

... that, young Humawan, is The Way of the Puppy!