Today I want to tell you about my favourite hobby - collecting pats. I have a wonderful collection of pats, and I'm very good at acquiring them, too!
For example, here are all the pats I collected just today!
And a very good morning to you, too!
(It's never too early for a good pat.)
Hello!
Heehee! That tickles!
A bit more to the left, please!
Hello - I know my Schnauzer friend Spinner doesn't mind if you pat me!
Just a bit more!
Ah, yes, just right!
Sure I'll shake paws, just keep patting!
Oooh, is there patting happening over there?
Er, you're patting me, not the Italian Greyhound behind you!
What do you mean, no more pats?
Hmmm... is Spinner getting pats over there?
I think he is, but now I'm getting a chin scratch.
(Look at my friend Penny The Schnauzer Puppy making faces at the camera!)
Oh, go on, you know you want to!
(Penny is still making faces!)
Look Penny, this is how you get pats.
That's right Penny, but you need to get in a little closer, like this.
Ah, yes. You smell nice, too.
I like chest tickles.
Hey, stop hogging the picture, human. I'm leaving...
Pats, please!
Er, excuse me! Down here!
Look how cute I am! You want to pat me!
I think the pats are starting to dry up - even Spinner's having to search them out.
Oi, human! Pat me!
My human wants me to mention that she does actually tell me off for jumping up, but firstly, I don't really jump, I just kind of stand up on my back legs with my cutest look, then extend my paw in gentle benediction. And secondly, all the humans say "Oh, I don't mind, she's sooooo cute, come on, up-up!" Naturally, I prefer to listen to them - it's all about pleasing my audience, after all - and I get more pats that way!
